unfinished

 and everything behind me... 

  sometimes I'm just afraid of people. 

noticed that quite recently... I started to be aware of this when I pass them on the street. I'm afraid their sight. I always look down when someone avoids me. why do they look? what they think looking at you?

even in the pub, when you sit with your friends...and someone else says something... why do they look when you don't say anything! At such moments, I would like to turn around... View of a wooden tabletop would work for me better... definitely.

  I don't like people. 

I like loneliness...much more... sit alone... or with my dog​... 

I don't mind. 

each time it gets worse. I hope that my mental "stupidity" will not develop... I hope I won't have to run and go another way when someone will be in front of me... 

Then I really start to be afraid of myself.

I see this view a thousand times a day... I'm addicted

and unfinished drawings...

for some time I won't be finishing them... 
later... as something comes to mind...
I'll take them again or I'll start to draw something new... and again. don't finish them.
it is normal... 



I will show you some new photos soon
from the "zombie boy" session. + "behind the scene" video. 

Take Care! and thanks for 68.000 on facebook! 

Such emptiness...

I have to admit that this free time has given me a lot...

  I won't be talking about my Christmas.. uf.

topic that interests me the most... smell! 

the smell of human flesh!

I know...sounds awful... 

currently have only two photos.

I haven't so much time so every spare time spend on planning! this photos should be different...  what a job!

the best part is that I do it to pass the (photography)exam... 

but I feel immense pleasure reading various materials of human cadaver odor... the most important for me is to do something for myself... Recommend you all! every little moment to sacrifice the things you love... what a feeling!!! probably many of you have a hobby and knows what I'm talking about;)

besides, I've taken my friends some photos... 

feel bad... don't know what I really want, don't know is it good what I'm doing...        fucking life!

I guess I really need someone to take my hand and show me everything... tell me what to do... as a child...

I am terribly afraid that I... can't stand this strain...

every step hurts... and this damn uncertainty!!

Why I say this?? 

you don't know me... 

 maybe it is good that college begins again...  

and photo shoot inspired: Hobbit and elves

and finally:

Thank you for your support! 60,000 on facebook!

Take Care!  

and wish me mental health

learn from our failures...

so... I will start by thanking! anyone who belongs to "my community!" Lord Guan currently has 57,000 likes! :) Such a small thing!! but I'm very pleased! :) Thanks!

Recently I was on the "fencing competitions" 

took some pictures...

 these children for whom victory was the most important... huge commitment... and even tears! but it is good that at such a young age children learn to partic motivation! belief in yourself and in your own abilities ... You need to remember: 

We learn from our failures!

not from what we succeeds... first we have to lose sth, and the next time be more motivated!

In addition, I'm still working on some project

 (need for classes in college)

now have a few days off so I'll be able to finish it :)

I will not be talking about Christmas .. too much of it on Facebook! but I'll do something for you! : P I don't know what yet... I would like everyone to be involved! have time to think about it ;) but photo with Santa Claus cap will be on my site!! soon :)  

with a friend. preparation for the photo session;) The biggest fun gives the process of creating, fun... 

than the overall effect ;) 

but if something is starting you need to finish it! 

and here is the effect:

this time without complaining... 

Take Care! 

                             

Smell of my photographs...

 

A lot of things have changed .. I don't know when it all goes so fast ... a few more days and I will be 20-year-old man! it scares me! but realizes that this is just the beginning of my journey...

One day I'll stay dream...
and I will turn into real things...


I hate feeling when someone is hurt by me. It is like a scar that will never dissappear from my body... 


will always remind me about my mistakes... so stupid mistakes...

waiting for the first long weekend!  And I'm going home! 

need it!

Below you can see my last sketch, I'm an amateur.... and draw only for myself. I always have the same vision when I start drawing something... This has to be the face!!! However, my thoughts are not the result of what is on paper. there's always something different... and always at the end - my brain is still hungry/ thirsty... 

besides, I recently started a new photo project. 

"Show me this smell"

This is my subject... I have to take some photos :) and this time I will add something from myself!! in addition to the photograph I will show everyone in my class the smell of my photographs...

pictures soon! :) I will photograph the body that "breaks down". I know it isn't pleasant.

Here I am already preparing smell...  

and that's all :) 

TAKE CARE! 

Flaws

                        Welcome Wroclaw! 

awfully strange reality, the strange mentality of the people...

_________________________________

a long time I wasn't here... 

with time I will find myself.

Now I can compare...my countryside and here... 

everything here is a quick ...

Late at night, close my eyes and suddenly everything is gone.

_____________

I'm officially a student. 

and I can't hide that 20 years is no longer 15. Some things are gone and I can't go back to them... because some things just not proper to do it... I have a good example! I don't know when but  I no longer derive pleasure from watching cartoons! maybe you think it's a funny or just stupid... but when I was younger I always said that I will never be bored watching cartoons! I was surprised when my parents preferred to watch the news than a cartoon with me!it's strange! now, it's different but this is probably the right time, when in myself I understood that I'm no longer a kid .. I need to know that this is the right time to plan your future .. can't stand still in one place. 

Sincerely!

I don't like this life!

 I don't like this uncertainty! 

I don't like my stupidity!

I don't like my naivety!

and my belief that everything that I could ever come back to me!

I have nothing interesting to show You. 

me and my photographer on one picture. use self-timer.

here's my flat... huge housekeeping! and Woodkid music in the background... Now those few days before learning the full, well-deserved relax!! 

        Thank's for all! TAKE CARE!!! :)  

THE CRY OF THE SOUL

Each of us experienced those moments when you feel that you have nothing... you feel empty inside .. need arise again, you need a "person" / "inspiration" or some "energy"... which will give you strength... 

Video "The Cry Of The Soul" is a short story or "report" of my life... I think it would be foolish to show anything in the easy way.. So I used some elements, symbols to describe what I wanted to convey to you... maybe You think this is stupid what I'm doing... may think: why am I doing this? 

I just want to say that I felt a great need to record something like that.... I can now calm down... I can throw out from my inside all these problems which I have... I hope that is somewhere a person who understands me. 
______________

maybe it help: search symbols of each element contained in the video... as land, water, rose etc. 

Feel free to watch it. 

You DON'T HAVE TO SHARE IT, DON"T HAVE TO show your friends this video... I don't need it... I am happy that I did what I planned for a long time :) Thanks for Your support!
Take Care! 


 

I'm in the foreign state...

here is the last photo shoot :)

 perfect photo for "advertisement paint" :) 

only I have the feeling that time rushing so fast?

so many things at once ... 
everything is moving forward and only I'm standing in the same place...
recently even my dreams gave me to understand that...

+Lord Guan 

I stopped, I fell "in the swamp," and I can't move...

I can only scream .. but what is my cry, if there is no action on my part...
_________

here's my photographer... we are changing from time to time.

and the self-timer :) This time we are together... 

long planning session with a cigarette... I think that it was the last time I smoked.. still had to take another cigarette... horrible!!! 

except that I  still working on a new video... I also learning to play the guitar! I wanted to make a cover :) I've always dreamed about this... but a long road ahead of me :) 

btw, here is my first cover of my new video "The Cry Of The Soul"
for encouragement :) 

Thank you for likes on my facebook :)and Thanks for the video chat!!! I'm very happy that I was able to talk to you all :) lots of fun :P See you next time! :) 

TAKE CARE! :)